“More often than not, people who vent or complain already know how to handle their current situation – they’re just looking for someone to see and appreciate their struggle.”
We all just want to be heard. At least, that’s what Michael Sorenson builds his book around, with many, many stories to back up his claim. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships gives readers tips on how to make any relationship better by slowing down and listening in order to validate the person you are talking with. It seems simple, yet it takes practice and intention – and it can change each of your relationships.
My husband came across I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships first through Amazon Prime Reading. He was impressed by the ideas in the book, so I read it after him. It was great to be able to talk to him about the book as I read it and we quickly realized how it could be applied to our children, who very much want to know that they are heard by us.
The book is short, but divided into three parts. In the first part, Sorenson talks about why validation in conversation is so important and how it can affect the way a conversation goes and how people feel about each other. In the second section, he goes over the four-step process of validation: listen, validate, advise or encourage and validate again. He says to always ask before giving advice as many people don’t actually want advice, they just want to be heard. In the final section, he goes over several real-world conversations and how they turn out differently when a person uses validation. He uses situations from home, work and friendships.
I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships is a very handy book on improving relationship with a very simple skill. I am trying to put it into practice more, but it does require thought and intentionality to use it every day. I would recommend this book to anyone who has friends, coworkers, bosses, children, spouses, significant others, family members … everyone could use the tips in this book!