“True terror isn’t being scared; it’s not having a choice.”

Aza seriously wonders if her life is real or if it’s a movie, orchestrated by powers stronger than her. At 16, she faces the same ordeals most teenagers face, but her problems are deeper and more real. She spirals in her own mind to the point where she can’t relate to the people who care for her the most – her mother, her best friend and her boyfriend. Can she find help before she spirals down to the bottom?

I’ve had Turtles All the Way Down on my to-read list for a while. I read about it in Bookpages magazine and while John Green is noted for his book, The Fault in Our Stars, this is my first book of his to read. I have The Fault in Our Stars on my to-read list as well.

Aza and her best friend make contact with a boy Aza used to know as a child, whose father has disappeared. Davis is rich and there is a reward out for information on his father. Aza and Davis feel a connection, but it is complicated by Davis’ grief, his care of his little brother and the doubt that Aza and her friend are seeking the money more than relationships. All the while, the reader is let into the workings of Aza’s mind, where anxiety rules and controls her actions.

Anxiety can be hard to describe. This book does a great job of letting readers feel what anxiety and controlling thoughts can do. Aza has a wound on her finger that she can never let heal, but is constantly worried about getting infected. She opens and cleans it continuously because her mind won’t let her rest until she acts on her thoughts.

While this is a young adult book, it is for older readers and I would recommend it to adults. I feel I gained a better understanding of anxiety after reading this book. It’s realistic in that everything doesn’t end happily ever after, but there is still good in Aza’s life.

Have you dealt with anxiety? Share your experience on the blog.

Buy the book here (affiliate link).